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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28253361">Trial and Error</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Javachik/pseuds/Javachik'>Javachik</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Fire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, I'm Bad At Summaries, Injury Recovery, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Sorry Not Sorry, Stubborn Boys Being Stubborn, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:14:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,797</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28253361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Javachik/pseuds/Javachik</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Kelly and Matt meet in the academy their lives have been a series of trials and errors and the fact that bad things do happen to good people just makes it harder.  Losing Andy was one of those bad things and it's split them in two so what's it going to take to put them back together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kelly Severide &amp; Leslie Shay, Matthew Casey &amp; Andrew "Andy" Darden &amp; Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey &amp; Leslie Shay, Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Mature for canon level injury but will change to explicit for later chapter(s) This is a work in progress, and although I have the first 3 chapters done I'm currently working on editing them and hope to post in a timely manner.  Kudos and comments are much appreciated as this is the my first fic for this fandom.  </p><p>*Andy dies, nobody else though *Other tags may be added as fic progresses  *No beta we die like men  *Don't own rights to these characters or the show  *Don't post anywhere else</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The slamming of the locker room door signals Matt’s angry departure and Kelly leans back against his own as he groans loudly in frustration.</p><p>It’s been months and the two of them are still fighting, because losing Andy, it broke something in them and both men are still just too angry to try and fix it.</p><p>And Kelly gets it, he really does because he’s just as stubborn as Matt, so he was willing to just ignore it right up to the point when out of no where Shay says "hey, have you noticed that a lot of these close calls lately have involved Matt".  They are hanging out on the couch drinking beer after a rough shift, so he's unprepared for her words.</p><p>Kelly can't help but think that he's really too sober for this conversation, but the more he thinks about it the more he knows that Shay’s got a point.</p><p>And now that he’s thinking about it he’s realizing that yeah, while injuries in their line of work are an expectation, the amount of times that Casey’s name has been on the injury list has seen an uptick lately and that has him concerned.</p><p>Shay’s sipping her beer staring at the TV when she hits him with “Wonder if it has anything to do with him and Hailey finally breaking up for good, and her up and moving to another country and all”</p><p>Trying not to choke on the swallow of beer that he’d just taken Kelly turns to Shay with an incredulous look “Wait…what? What do you mean Hailey’s gone?” and he knows he’s giving himself away when she turns to him, stopping mid swallow to blink slowly at him “seriously??” she questions before heaving a disappointed sigh.</p><p>Leaning forward she thunks the bottle down on the coffee table before turning to face him, her face scrunched up in disappointment “ummm hello… that was like over 2 months ago?”</p><p>Kelly is stunned silent momentarily because honestly he figured that those two were a done deal “well……shit” he mutters.</p><p>“Eloquent as ever there Severide” she snarks at him so he swats a hand in her general direction his flailing only makes her laugh as she easily dodges him before grabbing her beer and settling back against the couch.</p><p>They sit quietly for a while.  Shay watching TV and him lost in thought.  Her words eat at him because how did he miss something like that so he ponders out loud “I mean, I know he’s been quieter, not hanging out at Molly’s very often but figured that was because of the whole getting married thing”</p><p>Never looking away from the TV “Nope” Shay says, popping the p at the end before letting quiet fall again around them.</p><p>Kelly sits there in silence as he nurses his beer while his thoughts pull him in a dark direction  “you don’t think he’s being intentionally reckless, is he?” he asks carefully.</p><p>Shay hums in though for a couple moments as she taps the beer bottle on her lips before answering “No, I don’t think so?"  she ignores Kelly’s grumble of irritation as she continues “But I think he has been putting himself in harm’s way more than his usual, just not sure if it’s intentional or not”</p><p>Shay’s words hit him hard, regardless of the fact that they can’t be in the same room without harsh words being spoken, the very idea of losing Matt makes Kelly’s heart absolutely hurt.</p><p>If he's being honest with himself, which is something that he's been working on - shut up Shay- he can acknowledge that he’s probably been on some level in love with Matt ever since they first met in the academy, he’s just always pushed it down because it was just safer because hello, there's no way Matt would be interested in him that way but now? </p><p>Now, he's not only lost Andy, he's realizing he could realistically lose Matt forever and he just doesn't know what's next.  Unfortunately, the fates must have been listening because several days later Kelly gets his answer.</p><p>It’s a warehouse fire and Casey and Otis have somehow managed to get separated from the others and are now trapped inside the burning and collapsing building. Boden’s called for evac, pulling all of the teams out and it’s such a mad dash that they only realize that the two are missing when everyone’s stumbled outside.</p><p>Boden is working out a plan to rescue the two men when a massive explosion quickly followed by the screeching roar of collapsing metal has everyone running backwards to the edge of safety as they watch in horror as the building crumbles in on itself.</p><p>There is a moment of stunned silence as everyone stares at the smoldering pile of rubble that is now in the place where the building was standing when suddenly their radios crackle to life. Its Otis’s voice, it’s breaking up and filled with static, but it’s there.  He's saying that they both made it out, but Casey’s down and they need help urgently.</p><p>There’s a rush of movement as everyone is suddenly springing into action, Severide grabs some of the needed rescue equipment as he and everyone that’s not currently trying to knock down the remaining fire take off after Shay and Gabby as they hurry around to the back of the building where Otis and Casey are.</p><p>The site that greats Kelly has his heart in his throat. Matt’s lying on the ground on his side with Otis leaning over him holding him steady as wet coughs wrack his body. Dropping to Matts side Kelly takes in Matt’s condition, he's pale, his breathing is labored and erratic and that wet cough he heard, it's blood.</p><p>Kelly’s rooted to the spot, he objectively knows he hears Shay yelling for the backboard, he feels people pushing past as they work to get them cleared so they can deal with the still present fire but he just can’t pull his gaze away from Matt.  </p><p>Hermann’s face is suddenly blocks his line of site startling him “Come on, Severide, we need a hand getting him to the ambulance” Hermann spits out, his words dragging him back to the present. So he shakes it off, files it away to deal with later.  Moving with Hermann he grabs an end of the backboard and helps the others as they lift Matt, carrying him to safety.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everyone from 51 streaming in and out of the hospital waiting room at some point, those able to stay for long periods of time, bring coffee and food to the ones that have stationed themselves in the waiting room.  It’s been hours of waiting so the group has sprawled out, taking over the area in differing levels of sleep when a tired Doctor finally shuffles towards them. </p><p>Movement grabs Kelly's attention from where he's propped against Shay and he watches as a Doctor makes his way over to them. When Boden see's him he stands and the others quickly following suit as they wait for what he has to say “He’s out of surgery, and in stable condition.  He has fractured several ribs that did cause some internal damage, as well as nicking his spleen." He pauses when he hears the mummers of concern, holding up a hand to quiet them  "But we stopped the bleeding and we placed a chest tube, so, for now we are just watching him for any complications.  Now it’s going to be a little while, but as soon as he’s awake we will come get you and you can see him.”</p><p>The feel of relief in the room is palatable and Kelly finds himself dropping back down onto his chair listening to the others as they start making calls, their chatter more upbeat as they start to share what is good news.  </p><p>He feels Shay grab his shoulder as she drags him to her so she can bury her face into his neck where she whispers. “He’s gonna be ok” .  Kelly takes a stuttering breath before turning to bury his face in her hair as he pulls her into a fierce hug.</p><p>“He goddamn better because I plan on kicking his ass SO hard for this” Severide mutters and gets a soft "ahuh" from Shay in response.  He gently presses a kiss to her hair, grateful for how her quiet solid presence helped sooth the rawness and tension that’s sat like a stone since he first realized that Matt was unaccounted for.</p><p>They’ve kept Matt in the hospital for almost two weeks and while Kelly’s been visiting whenever he’s free, he’s with Shay or one of the other guys so there’s not a lot of conversation happening between him and Matt and he knows that Matts been watching him, initially shooting him annoyed looks but when Kelly doesn't respond he moves to curiously confused glances.  </p><p>Kelly and Shay just happen to be walking into Matts room when they interrupt a conversation between Matt and his Doctor and going by the pinched look on Matt's face it's not going well so when the Doctor turns to address them Kelly's curious. “I are ok with releasing him, but only on the condition that he has someone stay with him”.</p><p>Kelly watches as Matt opens his mouth to say something, and just by looking at him Kelly knows he's going to argue some more, to say that he doesn’t need help and before he can even think it through Kelly speaks up “yeah no, that’s ok…. he’s going to be staying with us” and Shay, bless her soul just takes it in stride, smiling and nodding along in agreement like it was their plan the whole time. </p><p>Kelly decidedly ignores Matt and how his mouth drops open in shock and Kelly can feel the waves of anger radiating from him so when Shay pipes up with “yeah, Doc, we got him” Matt’s left no choice but to glare and silently seethe at how both of them just managed to steamroll him.</p><p>The Doctor, willfully ignoring the hostility in the room, simply smiling as he turns on his heel to leave as he says “good, good…. I’ll go get the paperwork started then”. </p><p>Kelly watches the Doctor go before turning back to Casey who’s wearing a furious expression “Severide” Matt grits out and Kelly already knows what he’s going to say so he heads him off. Holding up his hand as he shakes his head “Nope…..don’t, just don’t.” he says and he’s thankful when the only response Matt has is his mouth angrily snapping shut. </p><p>He knows it’s only a temporary reprieve with the way Matt’s glaring so he quickly starts talking “look, I get it, it’s clearly not what you want but unless you’d rather stay here” waving his hand around to emphasize the hospital room “this is what’s happening.” </p><p>Kelly stops talking, staring at Matt and has to take a deep breath because now he’s struggling not to smile at the now mulish expression that Matt’s wearing because he can't find a loophole to work. So looking around the room Kelly spots the small closet and points to it “got stuff here to wear home?” he asks Matt, waiting patiently in silence when Matt finally gives him a ground out “no”.</p><p>“OK then" Kelly says as he starts walking towards the door "I’m going to grab you some clothes and should be back by the time they get your discharge paperwork settled, Shay here can stick around and let me know if anything changes” Kelly quickly says not giving either of them time to object before he's making a break for the outside, leaving her to deal with the fallout.</p><p>Kelly’s lost in thought as he’s walking out of the hospital, trying to think of ways to make it up to Shay for the mess he's just dropped in her lap as well as wondering just how wise this rash decision is when he see’s Boden walking towards him so he slows to a stop, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets as he watches him approach “Hey Chief”</p><p>“Severide… I was just coming in to check on Casey.” Boden says as he gives him a long look. Kelly knows that Boden has been wondering what brought about the sudden change in atmosphere where he and Matt are concerned but it’s not even something Kelly’s totally acknowledged so hoping to avoid it altogether Severide goes with simple and straightforward.</p><p>“So I just talked to the Doctor, they’re releasing him, but he can’t be alone.  So I’m on my way to grab some clothes for him then he’s gonna stay with me and Shay” As he finishes Kelly watches, waiting as the Chief’s eyebrows climb in question.</p><p>“Casey’s going to stay with you and Shay…. do you think that that necessarily wise?” he asks, clearly bewildered by the turn of events. “You guys haven’t been exactly on the best of terms lately”.</p><p>Kelly understands Boden’s hesitation, he really does.  Him and Matt, they’ve done nothing but be at each other’s throats lately so yeah he gets it “Yeah, well, wise or not the only way they’d release him so…” </p><p>Boden shakes his head in disbelief as he listens to Kelly, no doubt imagining the potential mayhem that might ensue with the two of them in an apartment together for what could be an extended amount of time.  “Kelly, are you really sure about this, because I’d really rather you two not try and kill each other” Boden asks again like he really needs Kelly to be sure of his decision.</p><p>And Kelly knows that Boden is really worried because he used his first name “I mean, how bad could it really be??" and Kelly has to smile at the Chief's snort "Besides, Shay will be there so she can run interference ” he shrugs his shoulders when the Chief simply scrubs a hand over his face as mutters "Jesus".</p><p>“And Casey was ok with this plan?” Boden asks.</p><p>Kelly ends up just rolling his shoulders in a what can you do motion “Ehhh, he doesn’t have a lot of choice in the matter so he’s mostly dealing”.</p><p>Boden stares at him for several moments and Kelly tries not to squirm under his gaze, when Boden abruptly nods his head, clapping Kelly on the shoulder as he turns to go inside “Well ok then. The best of luck to all of you” Boden says, his -your gonna need it- clear in his laughter clear as he walks away "Oh, and you realize that you are so gonna owe Shay for this, right?"</p><p>"I've already started planning the ways I will make this up to her" Kelly laughs and he can’t help wondering for the insanity that he knows he’s opening Shay and himself up for in dragging an angry and injured Matt into their home.  It might be like throwing gas onto a fire, but he’s just so over with how things are between them so he figures that one way or another this will either fix them or break them.</p><p>Kelly doesn't waste time grabbing too much stuff, he just swings past the station to grab Matt’s bag from his locker before heading back out, knowing that if he needs anything else they can grab it at another time and as it turns out his timing was perfect, he’s walking into Matt’s room just as the nurse was handing him the paperwork to sign. </p><p>Matt throws him irritated glare when he walks in but otherwise ignores him, his attention returning to the nurse and the instructions she was giving on what he can and can't do along with when to set up his follow up appointments.  Kelly sees that Boden’s already gone and Shay's quietly hanging out in the corner, her expression makes him curious as to the exact conversation but by her look he knows they will be discussing it later so he shoves his thoughts into the box marked for dealing with later and listens in as well to what the nurse is saying. </p><p>Once she’s done and the paperwork is all signed Kelly walks over to the bed and drops Matt’s bag on the corner and he’s met with a very perturbed glare that he chooses to ignore “come on, let’s blow this popsicle stand” he says, refusing to back down from Matt's glare, only quirking a eyebrow at Matt's annoyed huff when he doesn't. </p><p>Moving slowly and carefully Matt gently swings his legs over the side of the bed and grimacing at the movement. Kelly watches him struggle in silence, knowing that any offers of his help will be rebuffed he simply rolls his eyes at Matt’s stubbornness and he unzips the bag and starts pulling some clothes out.</p><p>Watching to make sure he's close enough to help if needed he waits as catches his breath. He’s obviously trying not to pull at the stiches so he's taking his time but Kelly knows him well enough that he needs to give him as much independence as he can so he waits.   Finally, Matt takes a slow breath and looks up at him, meeting his eyes as he begrudgingly asks “can you give me a hand changing”.</p><p>"Sure" Kelly says before turning to Shay who nods her head before ducking out of the room to give Matt some privacy.  This leaves Kelly alone with him, so he helps Matt into the t-shirt and sweat pants, the effort leaving Matt pale and clearly in pain. </p><p>Thankfully, that’s when they hear a knock just before his nurse walks back in, pill cup and water in hand.  Grimacing when she sees the state Matt is in she holds out them out to Matt “ It’s a dose of pain meds because between getting home and getting settled the pain is going to get away from you and we want you to stay ahead of it as much as possible” She says to Matt before turning to Kelly to tell him “His scripts are called in so grab them on your way home OK?”  </p><p>"OK" Kelly answers, watching as Matt silently takes the offered cup, quickly swallowing down the medication. Kelly's grateful for the small reprieve it'll give Matt “thanks for everything” he says which earning a smile from her as she leaves, passing Shay as she wanders back in.</p><p>Looking Matt over, Kelly takes in his bowed head and slumped shoulders and holds back a sigh.  Deciding to let him be, he chooses to instead go and grab a wheelchair from the hallway, wheeling it next to the bed he sets the brakes “Alright Case, let’s get this show on the road” Kelly says quietly as he holds out his arm out for Matt to use to pull himself up.  </p><p>Matt glances up when he see's Kelly's arm appear in front of him but doesn't say anything just silently takes hold and pulls himself up slowly and carefully lowers himself into the waiting wheel chair. An orderly meets them in the doorway so Kelly grabs the bag and falls into step with Shay as Matt’s wheeled outside and into the sunshine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s been almost a month and they’ve somehow managed to fall into a silent agreement of civility and while befuddled, Kelly doesn’t dare question it.  He knows on some level that he probably should, but it’s like they are almost back to where they were before Andy, when they inseparable friends. Kelly can’t help but to scoff at his line of thought, friends is a word doesn’t really work in defining them but yet, here they are.  </p>
<p>They’re leaving the doctor’s office and Kelly can feel the frustration rolling off of Matt in waves, the Doctors words have left a sour taste in his mouth. Between his ribs and the surgery to patch his spleen it’s taking Matt longer than expected to heal meaning Matt's going to be out of work for at least 2 months so he’s angry.  </p>
<p>Matt’s angry at the Doctor, himself and Kelly figures probably at him too but he’s at a loss for how to help because anything he says is just gonna sound like platitudes. So, hoping to give Matt some time to process what the Doctor said, Kelly stays silent letting him stare out the window and only glances over at him occasionally on the quiet drive back to the apartment.</p>
<p>Arriving at the apartment, Kelly turns off the car and turns towards Matt deciding to just rip off the band-aid and say something and when he see's how stiff Matt's shoulders are Kelly heaves a sigh.  “Look.. I know it sucks and I’m sorry that I can’t make it suck less but” He steadfastly ignores Matt’s snort of anger because he knows that he’s just spoiling for a fight “But you almost died so it’s going to take a little more time to heal so, until then we just have to just deal” he says.</p>
<p>Matt’s head snaps around at Kelly’s words, the anger radiating off him “we deal…really” Matt spits out as he shakes his head “that’s what you’re going with.”</p>
<p>Kelly scrubs his hands over his face and swallows the retort that pops up with Matt’s tone. “Yeah, Matt, we deal.  Besides, it’s not like we have a lot of other choices right now” He knows his words are harsh but unfortunately they are their reality right now so they sit in silence for several moments when Kelly’s phone bings with a text alert.  Grabbing it, he unlocks it and when he sees a message from Shay he smiles “Shay’s ordered delivery, should be here shortly so let’s head in” </p>
<p>Kelly’s not even finished talking before Matt’s already struggling to get the car door open and Kelly has to groan at Matt’s stubbornness, so he hops out of the car and rushes around the back to give him a hand up, hopefully keeping him from falling flat on his face.  Rolling his eyes at Matt’s glare Severide simply wiggles his hand in front of Matt “yeah, yeah…. less glaring and more grabbing of the hand” he says.</p>
<p>Realizing that it's a lost cause, Matt reaches out and grabs Kelly’s hand, letting him pull him upright and Kelly has to grin at the expression on Matt’s face “See, that’s the spirit” he deadpans when they end up face to face, snickering softly when he hears Matt's quiet muttering “shoulda taken my truck”.</p>
<p>Leaning around Matt to close the door Kelly hears that Mat's now muttering about sports cars and midlife crisis’s “Yeah, yeah funny man, you do remember that we're the same age right? and besides, you don’t let anyone drive your baby” and Kelly can’t help adding in air quotes around the baby part because it’s amusing how protective Matt is with his truck, and like expected, he gets the stink eye for being a smart ass. </p>
<p>Catching the glower on Matt's face, he can’t help laugh out “what...are you actually gonna try and deny it?” so when Matt's only response is to rolls his eyes and flip him off before walking slowly towards the door Kelly counts it as a win.</p>
<p>**</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the more time they spend together the more cracks he sees in Matts shell, the haunted look in his eyes that he'll will catch before it’s quickly shuttered away.  Then there's the nightmares; Kelly knows that Casey hasn't been sleeping well, the dark circles under his eyes are a dead giveaway, but the one time that Shay tried to broach the subject with Casey had him storming out of the room in anger so they tried to let it be.</p>
<p>Matt managed to fall into a restless sleep while watching TV and not wanting to disturb him, Kelly wanders to the kitchen to rummage for something to eat and that's when he hears a soft noise very close to a whimper that has him moving to the couch where he finds Matt curled up on his side making small twitching movements.  </p>
<p>The soft pained noises that Matt’s making breaks Kelly’s heart so he moves carefully to where Matt’s head is curled into the pillow.   He just doesn't have the heart to let Matt stay stuck in his nightmare so tries calling Matt’s name, staying out of range just in case he startles him and he comes up swinging but he sleeps on. When that doesn't work he moves a little closer he calls Matt’s name again but louder this time.</p>
<p>He’s desperately trying to keep his hands to himself, to not reach out and touch Matt even though it’s killing him to see him in distress like this when Matt suddenly gasps awake, sitting up so violently that he almost slams into Kelly who’s hovering near him “what…Wha” Matt stammers out as he shoves himself into the corner of the couch and away from Kelly.  Matt’s breathing’s erratic and his eyes are blown wide as he desperately scans the room before his gaze lands on Kelly only to jerk further away in surprise. </p>
<p>Kelly watches as Matt’s expression shutters closed as he’s visibly trying to steady his breathing. “hey…hey” Kelly starts, raising his hand to touch Matt but pauses when he recoils. “it’s ok Matt, you’re safe” Kelly says, keeping his tone soft as he carefully shifts so he’s sitting on the coffee table and not crouched over him. “Can I touch you Matt?” he asks and it seems like he waits forever for an answer and when Matt finally dips his head in agreement he doesn’t hesitate.</p>
<p>Moving slowly, Kelly reaches out and carefully takes one of Matt’s hands in his, untangling it from where he’s them twisting in his lap, gently rubbing his thumb across his knuckles. He lets Matt sit for several minutes, just rubbing his hand and watches as his breathing finally starts to slow. </p>
<p>Matt’s focused on watching the rhythmic movement of Kelly’s thumb and it seems like that simple touch and movement is giving him something to focus on, helping him to calm down so Kelly reaches out and takes Matt’s other hand in his “can I move closer?” he asks quietly because he sees that Matt’s still pretty distressed and he also doesn’t want to overwhelm him.  </p>
<p>When Matt’s gaze slowly rises to meet his it’s with a pleading expression as he whispers “please” and Kelly’s up and moving without hesitation.  He sits next to him on the couch as Matt pulls himself out of the corner, cautiously tucking himself into the crook of Kelly’s neck and letting out a breathy sigh when Kelly’s fingers start running though his hair. “I’ve got ya Matt, it’s ok” Kelly murmurs softly as he gently press’s his face against Matt’s head, his eyes closed tightly as he fights back his sadness.</p>
<p>They sit like that for quite some time, when Matt finally relaxes enough that he starts drifting off so as carefully as he can, Kelly shifts them so they are lying down, side by side on the couch tangled in each other.  Reaching over them, Kelly grabs the blanket that’s strewn across the back of the couch and pulls it down over them, covering them both as they drift off.</p>
<p>**</p>
<p>Kelly wakes up an about an hour later with a growling stomach and crick in his neck. Cracking his eyes open he sees that Matt’s still out and he's loath to disturb him but he really has to move.  So, as carefully as he can he extracts himself from the tangle that they are and rolls softly onto the floor where he sits for several moments just watching Matt sleep.</p>
<p>With a deep sigh he rolls up onto his feet, rocking his neck back and forth to trying to work the kinks out as he walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge to stare at the slim pickings.  Groaning he pulls out the bacon and eggs that he finds because breakfast for dinner is gonna have to do.</p>
<p>Kelly’s got his back to the living room but he still hears the muffles footsteps as Matt makes his way into the kitchen.  Turning from the stove Kelly takes in his amazing bed head and has to stifle a grin. “Hey, making some bacon and eggs if you’re hungry”</p>
<p>Matt gazes up at him from under his eyelashes silently for several moments while rubbing the back of his neck clearly uncomfortable.  It’s like he’s weighing his options so it surprises Kelly when he quietly answers, saying “yeah, thanks” as he wanders over to the island and slides onto a stool. </p>
<p>As he’s cooking, Kelly keeps peeking over to where Matt's sitting silently at the island. He really wants to say something since he knows that he can’t be the only one that’s feeling the tenseness of the room, but he’s hesitant because he’s just not good with words and he knows that when he inevitability puts his foot in his mouth it’s gonna end in an argument so he stays quiet.</p>
<p>Matt glances up at Kelly when he puts the filled plate down in front of him and Kelly hears a quiet “thanks” from him.  “Sorry it’s not much, been putting off grocery shopping”</p>
<p>“it’s good, not super hungry anyways” Matt says as he pokes at the eggs with his fork.</p>
<p>“You’re not in this alone ya know, the nightmares? Shay and I, we’ve both been there” Kelly quietly offers, stubbornly keeping his head down when he feels Matt’s gaze snap to him. </p>
<p>“I'm fine” Matt bites out, his voice tight.</p>
<p>Snapping down his fork, Kelly leans back on the stool to glare at Matt “If it’s fine then answer me this.  When’s the last time you had a somewhat decent night’s sleep?”</p>
<p>“Just leave it Kelly” Matt demands, grabbing his plate as he shoves himself away from the island, taking it to the sink where he drops it with a loud clatter before turning back to Kelly, his arms crossed defiantly and leveling Kelly with a glare.</p>
<p>Kelly scrubs his hands over his face in frustration, because he knew that that’s what Matt was going to say and somehow that seems to frustrate him even more “No Matt you are not fine so I’m not going to leave it” Kelly grits out.</p>
<p>“It’s not your problem to deal with so yeah, Kelly leave it” Matt toss’s back </p>
<p>At Matt’s words Kelly’s feels his grip on his temper slip and he’s across the kitchen in a matter of steps, practically growling at Matt as he steps right into his space and grabbing the counter on either side of him, effectively blocking Matt against the counter.</p>
<p>“Anything that has to do with you IS my problem and I’m going to be by your side whether or not you want me there because I’m sick and tired of losing people and I absolutely refuse to add your name to that list, so I’ll say it again I am not going to just leave it” he grates out. 

</p><p>The stunned expression he see's on Matt’s face has him huffing out an angry breath and not wanting their conversation to deteriorate even further, he takes several steps away dragging in several deep calming deep breaths before turning back around.  

</p><p>What he see's surprises him. Matt hasn’t moved, and even more shocking is that he’s staring at Kelly, his expression is considering and Kelly knows that look.  It’s Matt’s -I’m trying to find a solution for a difficult problem- look that Matt wears on a tough call and Kelly’s glad that he’s at least possibly thinking about what Kelly said and not just running from the room.</p>
<p>Looking Matt over, Kelly figures he’s in for a penny in for a pound, so taking a deep breath he walks back over to Matt, pausing when he gets within arm’s reach “Look, I am not walking away; so, you need to get it through that thick skull of yours that you are stuck with me, so stop fighting me because I’m not leaving you” </p>
<p>It takes several minutes of quietness for Matt to finally murmur under his breath, words so soft that Kelly can barely make them out “people always leave,  I’m not the one that people fight for, I’m always the one that’s left to do the fighting” he says, Kelly watching as his body seeming to curl in on itself  like he’s defeated, and when Kelly realizes what’s happening he presses closer, barely inches separate them when he reaches out carefully to cup Matt’s chin gently tilting his face up, forcing Matt to meet his gaze as he whispers “I’m not leaving” </p>
<p>Kelly lets his other arm slide down to firmly grip Matt’s hip and when Matt reaches out, his hands playing with the fabric of Kelly’s shirt he’s grateful that Matt’s not yanking away and instead choosing to stay pressed up against him but when he hears Matt whispered “Why” Kelly’s lost.

</p><p> “I don’t understand…why what?” Kelly asks, hoping that he’s lost the trail of conversation somewhere and it’s not what he thinks it is.</p>
<p>So, he waits, and that’s when he realizes that he’d wait for however long Matt needs but his thoughts are derailed when Matt’s hands ghost over his chest, alternating between tugging on the material of his shirt moving and pressing against his skin, all while he still adamantly refuses to meet Kelly’s gaze “Why are you fighting for me?” Matt carefully asks when he finally lifts his face to look at Kelly.  </p>
<p>And there it is, exactly the response that Kelly was hoping it wasn't and now that he's heard it he needs a moment to collect himself.  So he slides his hands around Matts shoulders and cautiously pulls him against him into a tight hug.  Matt stiffens instantly and Kelly’s sure he’s going to pull away or worse, so he’s incredibly surprised when Matt just sighs heavily as he carefully tucks himself into Kelly’s neck, winding his arms around Kelly's back and pulls him tight.</p>
<p>Delighted by Matt’s reaction Kelly takes a moment to relish in his closeness before answering, running his hands gently over Matt’s back before sliding one of them into Matt’s hair so he can gently tug his head back and look Kelly in the eye.</p>
<p>“Well now, that’s really simple. No matter what’s ever happened in our lives, all of our trials and errors it’s always been us….. together, so that’s what it’s gonna be….us together” Kelly says, watching as the corners of Matt’s mouth slowly lift into a heartfelt smile and that right there? That's all Kelly needs right now.</p>
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